Perfect Chaos
by invisible-deity
Summary: The stages of falling into, being seduced by, and overcoming demonic possession.  Dark story featuring Gaara and Shukaku.  Set before the start of Shippuden, as Gaara struggles to become the Kazekage, and find acceptance. Rating may go up in later chapter
1. Chapter 1

**Perfect Chaos.**

**Chapter One. Flawed Logic.**

_Thousands upon thousands of years ago, 'Asura' was the name given by those of Hindu faith to the dangerous and very, very real demons that stalked their land. In those times that have now passed, humans, spirits and demons interacted in ways that are known as mere myths today._

_The higher castes of spirits, the deities, resided in the upper circles of the sky, and they were the closest to the transcendental forms of Lord Krishna._

_The demons came from the earth, from the very core of the world. In terms of the human chakra model, they personified the deep root chakras up to the solar plexus, while the deities and demigods personified the third eye and crown chakras. As much a part of the wheel of life and death as the deities were, the Asura still received the somewhat short end of the stick when it came to dealing with humans._

_Humans feared the Asura, for the most part. Many learnt to purify themselves of the Asura's influence by avoiding their ways of eating bloodied meat; some even avoided the killing of animals for food altogether. Devotees of the Lord Krishna also avoided onions and garlic, fruits of the plants that were born of the spilt blood of Asura Saimhikeya_

_Any human who aligned himself with the Asura was labelled a demoniac, a possessed man._

_They labelled the demoniacs as loveless._

_They said that the Asura themselves were incapable of the emotion._

_But in reality, perhaps love was the most important, for it was the most difficult to understand.  
_

_-_

A light wind brushed his cheek gently and he opened his eyes. Everything was a haze – he felt as though he had been in a trance. Not sleep – that would have been dangerous – but a state that was close enough. He rubbed the left side of his forehead as though to steady himself, and looked with trademark wide eyes at the ochre-shaded scenery around him.

Out here in the sparse fields it was quiet. Nobody came to bother this area of Suna-gakure save for bringing precious water to the meagre crops they grew, and that was very rarely, for the plants in Suna had adapted to the desert lifestyle of saving water in their roots whenever possible.

So he was quite alone, which was just what he needed after the return from the fight with Kimimaro.

Since Naruto had fought him back during the Chuunin exams, one of the biggest and most protective barriers in his mind had been broken down. Almost a year had passed between that incident and his return to help out Konoha with the retrieval of Sasuke. At first the transition had been painful and violent for him – and horrifying for the villagers of Suna, who had had to bear with the sandstorms that raged for months outside in the vast desert as he walked alone, trying to come to terms with all the things Naruto had told him.

Now he was a bit calmer and had earned the friendship of his two siblings – the fact that he had chosen to go with them on the Sasuke mission was a testament to this strange new unity.

But it was during this mission that the second barrier to Gaara's mind began to be breached. An important part of his perception had again been shifted. He supposed that the strange trance-like dream he had just been having was a side-effect of it. Unless Shukaku had suddenly felt like giving him a history lesson on demons, which he seriously doubted.

The conversation with Rock Lee after that battle with the ill-fated Kimimaro had shaken him. Of course none of this had been apparent to the rather unique-looking Leaf ninja – Gaara was still the master of covering his reactions up beneath that steely emotionless mask of a face.

So, sitting down in the long, dry grasses, he decided to do something he had only done very rarely before. He decided to talk to Shukaku.

He fell completely silent for a moment, listening to the buzzing in his own head, then whispered softly;

'Well, say something.'

In response, the sand around his body began to slither and swirl through the grasses. Then came the answer, whispering like a breath of wind in his ear.

_'I am here.'_

Gaara's stomach lurched horribly. The same nauseating lurch that always accompanied that voice. The red-orange-yellow of the spinning chakra around his solar plexus flared slightly.

He controlled it, and turned his attention inwards again.

'You... Talk to me. Tell me what all this means.'

'_Tell you,'_ came the husky, yet strangely shrill whisper, _'what WHAT means?_'

Gaara frowned and something snapped inside.

'You're in here anyway, I think you know damn well what I'm on about.' He said it with anger, although his voice retained the same tone and volume as before. But he did drive his fingernails into the earth as he spoke, twisting the soil and upturning it in frustration.

The chakra flared outwards briefly again, then shifted as Shukaku cocked his head to the side and smiled from behind that vast sealed gate in Gaara's soul.

_'Let me out and I'll tell you all about it.'_

Chills spread up Gaara's body at this. His hand froze in the inch-shallow grave of dirt he had been absently digging. _Focus on a spot on the ground..._

_Let me out, he said..._

_Focus on a spot on the ground..._

He stared at nothing for the longest time.

_'Fine. Ignore. Uninteresting.' _And with that final hissy growl, the chakra in his stomach dissipated. He let his breath out slowly.

The conversation was left at that and so he went back to thinking about what it was that had shaken him up so much. It was something that he could not, or rather did not, want to make sense of.

According to Rock Lee, a loved one is someone who cares for and protects you.

And from the way that Lee had spoken about his sensei Gai, and even the way that Kimimaro had spoken about Orochimaru before he died, it seemed that a loved one was somebody they looked up to, someone powerful. And someone who they had also spent a lot of time with.

Now Gaara knew that recently, people like Kankurou and Temari were spending a lot more time with him, but for some reason it did not even cross his mind to match the words 'loved one' to someone from the human race.

The one who had spent the most time with him in his life, the one who had protected him the most (regardless of whether this was out of care or just self-preservation, and Gaara had always assumed it was the latter) ...was the Sand incarnate, Shukaku.

And though it was logical, it definitely could not be right.

_-end chapter one- _


	2. Chapter 2

Perfect Chaos.

Chapter Two. Elemental.

_He walked down the street, trying not to listen to the buzzing of the insects. But soon it was all around him, and the clay brick walls around him rose higher and higher as the buzzing became louder and more shrill. The humans around him, he could see behind the walls. They were all morphed into insects somehow, and their faces became distorted and alien and greedy. They were talking and chattering and buzzing and touching and..._

_It scared him because he did not know what it was to be one of them. Did he even want to be one of them?_

_But he was safe. There was a wall._

_Yes there was a wall, but that did not stop the buzzing._

_Why is there a wall!?_

_There was a shaking of temple bells. He turned. The moon was high above him, set like a jewel into a purple velvet sky. The edges of the sky burned red like fire, and the smell of opium incense filled the air._

_The walls rose higher still, the bricks becoming wider. Then behind him appeared a golden archway, adorned with bells and yellow leaves. Ethereal figures appeared beneath the arch, shaking the bells he had heard earlier. They wore saffron robes and ancient expressions. They looked at him, and they knew what he was. He was naked under their gaze. He tried to shake the bells out of his head and the perfumed smell out of his nose. The sounds of the insects behind the walls grew louder while the monks chanted words he could not hear. He was bound by some invisible energy, unable to move or have release._

_Not good. Overwhelming. Sounds reached fever pitch. Mouth not moving to scream. Shouting inside his head instead._

_i want to scream and let blood flow down the streets until we are drowned in it_

_-_

They arrived at the training grounds early.

It was a Wednesday, which meant it was a training day for the three siblings. They had been keeping this habit up for around three months now, which had surprised their fellow ninja, who were now starting to believe that maybe Gaara did have the capacity to be sociable, or at least the capacity to fight without killing anyone, after all.

The sun was only just beginning to rise. The early morning air was cool and pleasant, and likely to remain so for a few more hours, until the sun climbed higher. All across the arid, flat training ground, shimmers of sunlight splayed out in an orange-yellow haze. At this stage of the morning, dust and sand appeared like a thin layer of mist just above the ground. Swirling particles caught in the sun's rays if he looked closely. Gaara liked watching these patterns.

The land was so flat and open; it was a whole world apart from the jaunty dream that had woken him from his usual couple of hours of sleep this morning.

The three of them slowed to a halt simultaneously. Temari's voice brought Gaara back into focus.

'I can't believe that they've got us due to start another mission tomorrow!' She exclaimed, setting down her pack on the dry earth.

'Hah, you're just thinking about that lover-boy of yours back at Konoha,' Kankurou said with a smirk. Temari's eyes flashed at him angrily.

'He is _not_ my boyfriend!' She groaned in mock despair. Kankurou grinned.

'Anyway, this new mission. How much does it suck, eh? Geez, Gaara, count yourself lucky!'

Gaara raised an eyebrow quizzically. He did not need to speak. The expression was more than enough.

'What, you mean you don't know?' Kankurou blurted out loudly. He winced at the volume of his voice, and said a little more quietly, 'We thought Captain Baki had found you last night.'

Gaara focused on his older brother with eyes that said '_Well clearly he did not.'_

'So what is it I should know?' he said bluntly.

'Oh, uh...' Kankurou faltered for a second. The pause probably meant that he was trying to think of a specific and very roundabout way to phrase something. He did this sometimes. 'Well, it's just that, um, you're... you're allowed to bail on the next mission. You get off easy.'

Gaara simply stared. _Meaning?_

'It means you're relieved from your duty for the next mission,' Temari interjected, and then steeled herself for some kind of reaction from Gaara. He thought about it for a minute. So the village officials were still reluctant to send him out on so many missions then.

'I see,' he said. And that was all he had to say on the subject. It did not bother him in particular.

'Anyway, let's start on some training,' Kankurou said cheerily, a broad grin making comical shapes over his painted face.

Apart from the grand exception of Gaara's gourd, they left the things they had brought with them on the sidelines. They began in the usual format they had fallen into. Kankurou and Temari would jump off and have a little warm-up against each other. This usually lasted until Gaara got bored and began sending out jets of sand to interfere with their warm-up. Upon which they would turn to him and unleash some of their slightly stronger attacks, all of which were warded off by the Sand Defence without so much as the bat of an eyelid from Gaara. They both knew there was no real danger of hitting Gaara – it took the superhuman speed and strength of a Taijutsu master like Rock Lee to even come close to penetrating that barrier.

There was no doubt about it. Gaara made an excellent practising target.

Eventually Gaara would get bored of this too and would start chasing them around with stabs of sand again, this time a little more violently, giving his older sister and brother a good workout in the process.

Before every training session, Temari made sure they were all clear on the signal to stop. This simple hand sign functioned like a safe-word, just in case things got out of control. Now, about five minutes into the dodging-Gaara's-sand-attacks part of the routine, Temari made the sign, bringing them all to a stop.

Gaara's brow furrowed ever so slightly. Had he done something wrong? A look, perhaps, that he was not aware of?

Temari took a few paces forward until she was within earshot.

'Gaara!' She called out. 'Let's do our favourite.'

-

Kankurou smiled and reclined back to the sidelines. Gaara relaxed. He uncrossed his arms as the faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of his lips. He disappeared in a whirlwind of sand and reappeared at the other end of the practise field. Spreading his arms wide, he signalled Temari to begin.

-

On the sidelines, Kankurou covered his face with a cloth shroud, and made sure his clothes were tight around him to prevent his skin from becoming sandblasted. As an afterthought, he quickly fished some goggles out of his pack and put them on, lowering the cloth so that he could witness the spectacle.

Temari whipped her fan open and leapt gracefully onto it, using perfect chakra control to keep it hovering three metres above ground. She made the hand sign for concentration, and closed her eyes.

There was a hazy lull in the atmosphere, like the calm before the storm. The very particles in the air seemed to buzz with energy, anticipating something big. The build-up was gradual, but intense. It made the hairs on the back of Gaara's neck prickle.

Then Temari let the power go, jumping up and catching the base of the fan in one smooth movement. Balanced on thin air, she swung the fan towards Gaara with all her might, uttering a loud yell as she did so. The wind rushed past Gaara's ears, eclipsing his sense of hearing until all that existed was a bass roar.

The first Sand Barrier came up to meet the wind, sending small particles of grit and sand all across the field as the two forces met like harsh waves crashing on a shore. The sight was tremendous; it was like watching a firework explode.

From behind the barrier, Gaara slammed his hands to the ground, sending a shockwave through the earth until a spire of sand leapt up fiercely right beneath Temari. She reacted fast as lightning, riding the winds higher and higher until she was at least fifty metres high. Gaara let the sand fall back to the ground.

Temari was becoming better at channelling the winds. Balanced in a rising current of air, she controlled the currents travelling around her until it was almost visible to the naked eye; strong gale-force winds spiralling around her body in an elegant dance. She looked almost suspended in time.

Gaara remembered why he liked this jutsu so much. For that brief moment of time that he saw Temari suspended there with her raw element, it was as though she was closer to understanding how he felt than anyone else. A tiny sliver of sand caressed his jaw line as he thought this and he smiled to himself. Then he let the power surge inside him until he was full to the brim. The sand roared high over his head, and he let himself become dragged up with it until he was on a level with Temari. Then, simultaneously, they let their power rush free.

This was the climax of the performance.

An enormous wall of sand rose up like a monolith as massive tornadoes of wind crashed into it. The sand licked up the wall like an out-of-control fire, and where the wind hit, it sent beautiful spirals of dust high into the sky. The ever-shifting sands eventually overpowered the tornadoes, crushing around the winds, and causing sand to splay out everywhere in the process. It was more dramatic than all the fireworks Suna had to offer. Due to the sheer scale of the battle, it was more like watching a battle between two elemental gods.

In one final surge, with chakra tearing at his every nerve, Gaara sent the sand to engulf the wind entirely. The wave crashed down, and the wind died, pressed harshly into the ground with a thunderous hiss. Gaara relaxed his control and let the grains of sand sink back into the earth he had dragged them up from. His familiar chunk of sand came back to him and re-formed into the gourd on his back, although a small space near the cork was missing. With all the energy he had just spent, his spine sagged a little under the weight of it. But he stood there, arms folded once again, and waited for Temari to emerge from the sand.

A moment later she rose up, spitting sand from her mouth and shaking her clothes fervently. Dust clouds unfurled around her. After dragging her fan out too, she made her way over to Kankurou. Gaara did the same.

-

Kankurou was a sight to see. Sitting on the wooden post, hands gripping his knees tightly, eyes staring straight forwards in either fright or delight. Gaara couldn't understand why Kankurou had that silly expression; he had seen their sand wall and tornado sequence before.

Temari shook Kankurou's shoulder and he snapped to, looking at the both of them with wide eyes. He unstuck his hand from his knee and ripped the cloth from his face.

'That... was... _awesome_.'

'Heh, you say that every time,' Temari commented, and shook her hair, creating another cloud of dust. 'Damn, Gaara, that bloody sand armour is the most _uncomfortable_ thing ever!' She scratched at her skin agitatedly.

'Really?' Gaara said, puzzled. He shrugged slightly. The sand fell silently from Temari's skin and slithered back into the gourd, completing the missing section from around the cork. 'Well if you would rather get cut to pieces by our miniature sandstorm...'

His comment provoked a small yelp of 'Miniature!?' from a disbelieving Kankurou in the background. Meanwhile Temari smiled.

'Nah, you did a good job, bro. Now let's say we get some lunch?'

'Oh shit yeah...' Kankurou said as he removed his goggles and rubbed his eyes. 'Didn't realise how late it was!'

Gaara blinked and looked at the sun. It was noon already? He had been enjoying himself far too much.

'Mmm.' He nodded. The three of them set off back towards the village, leaving the myriad dust clouds to settle in their wake.


End file.
